YOUR COMFORT COMES FIRST

Beginner guidance

Choosing your first toy should feel exciting, not overwhelming. Start with what sounds good, keep the controls simple, and remember there is no wrong place to begin.

Find your fitAsk us privately
  • No experience required
  • Start gently and adjust gradually
  • Private guidance without judgment

START WITH WHAT YOU WANT

Start with what feels right

Think about the kind of sensation and level of control that sound comfortable. These are broad starting points, not rules.

Broad external sensation

A mini wand spreads vibration across a wider area and is easy to position.

Explore wands

Internal and external together

A rabbit combines internal and external stimulation in one toy. Look for a comfortable shape and settings you can adjust separately.

Explore rabbits

Something to share

Some toys are designed for two, such as wearables a partner controls from a phone app. Others are easy to share too, as long as you agree who holds the controls and how to pause before you begin.

Explore couples options

CHOOSING FEATURES

What makes a toy beginner-friendly?

Simple controls

A few clearly marked buttons are easier to learn than a complicated control panel.

Adjustable intensity

Gentle low settings and gradual steps matter more than raw power.

Comfortable shape

Smooth surfaces and manageable proportions make exploring easier and more relaxed.

Clear material information

Look for a clearly named material, such as silicone, and simple care instructions.

Easy cleaning

Smooth surfaces and a water-resistance rating that allows rinsing make clean-up quick.

A practical return to neutral

You should be able to turn it down or off in a moment, without hunting for the right button.

EIGHT CALM STEPS

A simple first-time plan

  1. Read first

    Have a quick read of the instructions in the box, including charging, water rating and which lube to use.

  2. Charge and inspect

    Give it a full charge and check that the surface, seams and charging point look undamaged.

  3. Learn the controls

    Try the buttons in your hand first, so you know how to turn it down and switch it off.

  4. Begin externally

    If you are unsure, external play gives you the most control over position and pressure.

  5. Start low

    Begin with the lowest comfortable setting. More power is not automatically better.

  6. Use lubricant where appropriate

    A little water-based lube reduces friction and makes everything feel smoother.

  7. Stop when needed

    Stop if you experience pain, bleeding, irritation, persistent numbness or unexpected discomfort.

  8. Clean, dry and store

    Wash it with warm water and mild soap if its rating allows, let it dry fully and store it separately.

You never need to move on to something bigger, stronger or internal. What matters is what you enjoy.

COMPARE THE BASICS

External, internal or both?

Internal play is never a required next step. Choose what feels comfortable and use each toy the way it is designed to be used.

Product typeThings to consider
External products
  • Usually easier to reposition
  • Can offer focused or broad sensations
  • May be a comfortable starting point
  • Includes bullets, wands and clitoral suction toys
Internal products
  • Shape, dimensions and flexibility matter
  • Use toys designed for the body area you are exploring
  • Begin slowly with plenty of water-based lube
  • Never force insertion
Combination products
  • Provide more than one type of stimulation
  • Fit varies substantially between bodies
  • Flexible positioning and separate controls can help
  • More features do not automatically mean a better fit
Partner products
  • Comfort and communication matter
  • Agree who controls the product
  • Establish a clear stop signal
  • Clean or replace barriers when sharing

MATERIALS AND LUBRICANT

Check what touches your body

  • Choose toys with a clearly named material, such as silicone.
  • Non-porous materials are generally easier to clean.
  • Words like “premium” and “silky” describe a feel, not a material.
  • Be wary of big claims such as “medical-grade” or “hypoallergenic” without details to back them up.
  • Follow the care instructions for your toy.
Read our Body Safety & Materials guide
General lubricant starting points
Water-basedThe easy all-rounder. Safe with silicone toys and condoms, and simple to wash off.
Silicone-basedLong-lasting and silky, but it can damage silicone toys, so save it for toys that say it is suitable.
Oil-basedOil can weaken latex condoms and some toys, so check before you use it.

A PRIVATE PAUSE

First-use checklist

Use these optional checks for your own preparation. They are not submitted anywhere.

Optional first-use checks

This checklist stays on this page and is never saved.

USING PRODUCTS WITH A PARTNER

Comfort is a conversation

  1. 01

    Talk first

    Discuss interests, boundaries and what is off-limits.

  2. 02

    Decide on control

    Agree who holds or controls the product and how control can be returned.

  3. 03

    Start slowly

    Use lower settings and check in rather than assuming.

  4. 04

    Make stopping easy

    Either person can pause or stop at any time without needing to explain.

CLEAR ANSWERS

Common beginner questions

What is the best first product?

There is no single best choice. An external toy with simple controls and adjustable intensity is an easy, relaxed place to start.

Is stronger always better?

No. Lower settings can be more comfortable, and intensity preference varies.

How quiet will a product be?

Every motor makes some sound, and noise varies with intensity and surroundings, so we never describe a toy as silent. Smaller toys are usually easier to keep private.

Does waterproof mean submersible?

Not always. IPX4 to IPX6 toys can handle splashes or rinsing but should not be submerged. Only IPX7 toys are waterproof.

Can I use any lubricant?

Water-based lube is the safe all-rounder for silicone toys and condoms. Check the instructions before using anything else.

How should I clean it?

Use warm water and a mild, unscented soap, and only rinse toys whose water rating allows it. Never boil, bleach or soak a rechargeable toy.

Can products be shared?

Yes, with care. Clean the toy between uses and use a fresh condom when switching between partners or body areas.

What if I experience pain or numbness?

Stop straight away. If symptoms persist or worry you, see a doctor or other healthcare professional.

Do I need an account to use the guides?

No. Our guides need no account and never save your answers.

IMPORTANT PAUSES

Safety callouts

For anal use

Only use toys designed for anal play, with a flared base, handle or similar feature that keeps them outside the body. Use plenty of lube and never force anything.

For sharing

Clean toys between uses and put on a fresh condom when switching between partners or body areas.

For powered products

Stop using a toy if it has damaged surfaces, a swelling battery, unusual heat, exposed wiring, corrosion or a damaged charging point.

SOURCES AND LIMITS

Responsible guidance

This guide provides general information for adults aged 18 or over and is not medical advice. Individual product instructions always take priority.